I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
