so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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