I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
