He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
