so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
