guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
