when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
