At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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