Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
