Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
