Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
