I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
