Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
