I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
i think im in europe. pls send help
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize