white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
