I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
