Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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