Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
