I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
