All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
it was like eating out sand paper
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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