butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I wish you could order shots online.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
