Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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