Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
