anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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