Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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