At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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