She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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