You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
