Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
