Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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