we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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