just tell him i said nine months
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
