That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
True strength comes from lack of pants
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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