Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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