if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
