but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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