There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
