We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
