how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
