my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
