He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize