you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
