Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
wow bdsm is so cute
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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