I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I'm both gender and math confused
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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