Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
So much rum. So many feels.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
