apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
