There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
