I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
