My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
