And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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