matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
