Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
