he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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