She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
