Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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