I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
