So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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