So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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