And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
