At least make sure they are 18
Why
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
