absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
