Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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