I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
